I lost the house, the wife, the credibility, the entourage. I lost my soul. I was alone ... I'm sort of OK with it now, but the first time I'm in there, pushing a f***ing cart, getting my supper. I used to go to the 24-hour place in gay town, so no one would recognize me. The only thing I could afford was a shrink, so that's where my money went. Three times a week for the first two years. The year after that, twice a week and now I'm down to once a week. I've only missed two appointments in six years.